"22 days short life journey of my little angel"

This is story about my second pregnancy which I already shared in my previous story update, this is part of that story where I am going to share those beautiful 22 days which I spent with my little daughter in NICU. Every moment was so tough but at the same time blessed time to had a beautiful doll in our life. 

Every time we saw her we felt more confident to take her home but who knew a death call for her will left us all alone,empty handed. She was good fighter,she fought very well till last breath and then go to deep sleep after tired of fighting for life.

4th April 2017

The day when doctors decided to introduce our little pie in to this cruel world where no one can survive without paying great sacrifices. This was a painful day but after her birth I forgot every grief and only wanted to meet her and see into her beautiful eyes. I had a lot of things in my mind to talk to her but due to c-section I could not see her that night.  

5th April 2017

 The next day of my c-section, I woke up and ask my hubby to take me to the baby but he said,"not today because your condition is not well, just relax I saw her she is beautiful doll, doing good. You will going to meet her tomorrow".....what ???? I couldn't wait any more to see her but anyways every second went very slow that day.

6th April 2017

 The day when I saw my little angel on this earth.....I had tears in my eyes, I was trying to keep my self calm but that time I became very emotional, I started to cry as she was too small and soo beautiful like a little Doll. This was the day when I actually felt mama inside me. I started to praise her and talked many things to her, I told her that how much we love her and weighted to see her beautiful face.

7th April 2017

 This was my last day in hospital, I went to my baby,,,,she was on C-Pep which provides support in breathing to baby's at this stage, she was doing great, was kicking and sucking her thumb as she used to do in my womb,,,,,,Her eyes were still closed but she could react to our voices....I again praised her and after heart talk I left NICU and went to home.

8th to 16th April 2017

Now it became my routine to go to the hospital to meet my sweetheart every day. when we went to my baby at 10th april we saw her without C-Pep, she was on her own breathing. Doctor congratulated us on her improvement. Every day was joy to meet my baby. Our world was totally changed. She could open her eyes at that time, when we talked to her and call her beautiful name "Bareera" which her dad gave her, we felt like she is listening us, She always reacted to our voices. When ever I went to her I did not want to come back home. 13 April was the day when doctor allowed us to hug our baby first time and to felt her in our arms for the first time....that was beautiful day I could not forget, I holded her in my arms and we did skin to skin contact,,,,,we talked to her and praised her, she opened her eyes and looked at us.15 April I went again to hold my baby in my arms, I praised her as usual and planed many things with her to do with her when she will be home.

17th April 2017

 Its my birth day date, but in those days it was the worse birthday ever I had in my life. At night my husband and me decided to celebrate my birthday with my baby....I told him that my big gift will be a Hug from my little angel. My husband is doing job in same hospital so we decided to meet there after 4:00 pm and will celebrate birthday there. At morning he left to office. His daily routine was to visit baby first at hospital and deliver my milk to her in bottle which was also one of exciting things I ever done for my baby. He sent her picture to me and said she is doing good. I was excited to meet her. At 2:00pm I had a call from my husband, I picked a call and answered call, his voice was not the same as at morning. I said what happened why you called me this time, he said "please dont lose your patience, come to hospital asap because baby's is not doing good she is transferred on to the ventilator. This was time when I felt like world is over, I was shaking, i couldn't tell family about it, i was crying, my mother in law asked me whats wrong I said please pray for baby we will have to go to the hospital now....She also had tears in her eyes. we went to hospital. Doctor said baby had a pulmonary hemorrhage which means bleed in her lungs so 24 hours are very crucial. we stayed there whole day and night, I prayed to God. I couldn't do anything just crying and praying was the option to spent those 24 hours which was very tough. After long time 24 hours completed, doctor said "now its fine she is doing good,but still she is on ventilator. That day was the worst day from where we never saw her on her own breath again.

19th April 2017

 The day when I observed my baby was swelled, Her little feet and hands were filled with water blisters which was scariest thing to see her in this situation.I asked doctor what is going on he said its called as edema as baby is not moving so water drained into her skin, Its fine until she could pass specific amount of urine which she is doing perfectly at this time. 

20th to 24th April 2017

 Days were very painful to see our little angel in this situation.my routine in those days was went to her and couldn't talk to her, just cried there and came back to waiting room.

25th April 2017

The day when our little angel said goodbye to us and left us with her memories behind. We could not see her again after that day but still i remember her eyes, her face, her little hand holded my finger, her sneezing voice when I hold her in my arms, her cry....every moment which we spent with her was a beautiful moment we cant forget in our whole life. 

Hey Moms this is my baby's short life journey but she was our whole world and will be missed at every step of life. God is emperor on every side, he has great plans for us and hopefully this baby who is on way towards us will illuminate our heart again with same light. Hope is great weapon to overcome grief so we did not lose hope and took step forward towards another happiness in our life.

Moms this is life so now a days em enjoying another kicks and rolls in my womb :) Please remember me in your prayers and I will be forward to see your supportive comments.....see you soon with other update, Bye :)

Preterm Baby

Hello MoMs this is the story of my second pregnancy.This is all about my cutie pie,my little honey daughter who made every moment joyful and happy inside me and made us both proud to became parents and to taste the beauty of parenthood. 4th April was the day when she decided to came outside after playing and kicking me inside for so many times and made me feel mama every moment when she rolled all here from there for 28 weeks.

 In october 2016 I went to hospital for ultrasound and they confirmed that I am pregnant.....It was a great news, I smiled again, I forgot the past and ready to go ahead. 

During my pregnancy I was so lucky that I did not feel any nausea, no vomiting, no cravings,,,,,,the only thing experienced was spotting at 8 weeks which was alarming, I went to the hospital and doctor said its fine, no need to worry just relax and continue medication, it will help in reduce chances of miscarriage. anyways after 2 weeks spotting vanished.. 

Everything was going fine but one thing noticeable was baby measured one week behind, doctor said its fine we consider 2 weeks difference normal so I did not panic for it and was very happy.

 I was enjoying my pregnancy so far and nicely covered 24 weeks, at this time I had to change doctor because of my husband, who got a good job of purchase manager in other hospital, I met new doctor she was very nice and also experienced one. After doppler test she said, "baby seems to be fine, come again after a month with previous ultrasounds, Then we will discuss everything". I agreed and came back to home.

 I was feeling awesome. Everything was smooth and fine. For some reasons I couldn't get appointment at the time given by doctor I was almost two weeks late, we managed to take appointment at 5th april. 

The worse thing happened on 3rd april 2017. I started to swell, my face became puffy. My husband came back from office and said what happened to you, is everything oke? you look puffy, my feet were swollen. He said lets check BP may be that is the reason. We went to nearby hospital and they checked my BP said its not normal in pregnancy you have 147/90 which is high.we can't prescribe you medicine just keep checking BP after every 2 hour and if it remains high, contact your doctor.

 I came back home, we started to check every 2 hours, it remained high. 4th april 2017 at morning we rushed into the hospital. They admitted me to check what's actually going on. After hours of discussion and history sheets were filled they took me to the labour room where they started to do CTG, which is normally performed in pregnancy to confirm whether baby is doing good or not, as my doctor was there she said everything looks good nothing to worry about except high blood pressure so she said to perform a urine test. Test was clear there was no any protein in it which was good sign. 

Doctor said a staff to shift me to the normal ward where i will have to do another CTG then I can go home with medications.

I shifted to ward everything was good, Nurse came and put CTG scan and left the room. Me and my husband were chatting and very normal at that time. after some time nurse came back and took the CTG scan sheet to the doctor.

I dont know what was going there, my doctor freaked out, she said the worse CTG scan I couldn't imagine, your baby is not doing good inside,she is in danger, we will have to decide now what we will be going to do in next couple of hours.

Me and my husband were in shock because we didn't know what they are saying and what they will going to do with me. I said may be nurse was not there and I was not that much caring about what was going with CTG, I was moving there so might be that was creating the worse result what you had seen so please do CTG again here. Doctor said ok, they did again this time they got good result but doctor said its not like the first one and I cant ignore the middle one which can threaten your baby's life so I am going to offer you C-section now because your baby is IUGR it means baby is about three weeks behind the growing weight and size which is not good and the other threat for her life is your hypertension,so you decide what you and your husband decides because with hypertension we can't leave baby inside even for a day.

That was day when me and my husband decided to introduce baby to this world which was very dangerous for her at that point.

I went to labour room at 7:00pm, I was completely unaware of whole situation which was going on for three and half hours. at 10:30 pm I was feeling bad, not fully awake but could see blur faces around me. My husband came to me congrats me on having our beautiful little baby girl. I smiled and after few minutes went to sleep for hours.I spent a day without seeing my baby because of emergency C-section which was hard time for me but still I was happy to see our little angel next day.

Hey MoMs its very long story may be you will find boring but this story in my life has great importance and it has totally changed my views and world,not in negative sense but it again made me very strong and taught me many lessons of this life. 

I will share my baby's 22 days short life journey very soon.........please remember me in your prayers and share your experiences and good words to make me more strong ....see you soon MoMs bye :)