This is story about my second pregnancy which I already shared in my previous story update, this is part of that story where I am going to share those beautiful 22 days which I spent with my little daughter in NICU. Every moment was so tough but at the same time blessed time to had a beautiful doll in our life.
Every time we saw her we felt more confident to take her home but who knew a death call for her will left us all alone,empty handed. She was good fighter,she fought very well till last breath and then go to deep sleep after tired of fighting for life.
4th April 2017
The day when doctors decided to introduce our little pie in to this cruel world where no one can survive without paying great sacrifices. This was a painful day but after her birth I forgot every grief and only wanted to meet her and see into her beautiful eyes. I had a lot of things in my mind to talk to her but due to c-section I could not see her that night.
5th April 2017
The next day of my c-section, I woke up and ask my hubby to take me to the baby but he said,"not today because your condition is not well, just relax I saw her she is beautiful doll, doing good. You will going to meet her tomorrow".....what ???? I couldn't wait any more to see her but anyways every second went very slow that day.
6th April 2017
The day when I saw my little angel on this earth.....I had tears in my eyes, I was trying to keep my self calm but that time I became very emotional, I started to cry as she was too small and soo beautiful like a little Doll. This was the day when I actually felt mama inside me. I started to praise her and talked many things to her, I told her that how much we love her and weighted to see her beautiful face.
7th April 2017
This was my last day in hospital, I went to my baby,,,,she was on C-Pep which provides support in breathing to baby's at this stage, she was doing great, was kicking and sucking her thumb as she used to do in my womb,,,,,,Her eyes were still closed but she could react to our voices....I again praised her and after heart talk I left NICU and went to home.
8th to 16th April 2017
Now it became my routine to go to the hospital to meet my sweetheart every day. when we went to my baby at 10th april we saw her without C-Pep, she was on her own breathing. Doctor congratulated us on her improvement. Every day was joy to meet my baby. Our world was totally changed. She could open her eyes at that time, when we talked to her and call her beautiful name "Bareera" which her dad gave her, we felt like she is listening us, She always reacted to our voices. When ever I went to her I did not want to come back home. 13 April was the day when doctor allowed us to hug our baby first time and to felt her in our arms for the first time....that was beautiful day I could not forget, I holded her in my arms and we did skin to skin contact,,,,,we talked to her and praised her, she opened her eyes and looked at us.15 April I went again to hold my baby in my arms, I praised her as usual and planed many things with her to do with her when she will be home.
17th April 2017
Its my birth day date, but in those days it was the worse birthday ever I had in my life. At night my husband and me decided to celebrate my birthday with my baby....I told him that my big gift will be a Hug from my little angel. My husband is doing job in same hospital so we decided to meet there after 4:00 pm and will celebrate birthday there. At morning he left to office. His daily routine was to visit baby first at hospital and deliver my milk to her in bottle which was also one of exciting things I ever done for my baby. He sent her picture to me and said she is doing good. I was excited to meet her. At 2:00pm I had a call from my husband, I picked a call and answered call, his voice was not the same as at morning. I said what happened why you called me this time, he said "please dont lose your patience, come to hospital asap because baby's is not doing good she is transferred on to the ventilator. This was time when I felt like world is over, I was shaking, i couldn't tell family about it, i was crying, my mother in law asked me whats wrong I said please pray for baby we will have to go to the hospital now....She also had tears in her eyes. we went to hospital. Doctor said baby had a pulmonary hemorrhage which means bleed in her lungs so 24 hours are very crucial. we stayed there whole day and night, I prayed to God. I couldn't do anything just crying and praying was the option to spent those 24 hours which was very tough. After long time 24 hours completed, doctor said "now its fine she is doing good,but still she is on ventilator. That day was the worst day from where we never saw her on her own breath again.
19th April 2017
The day when I observed my baby was swelled, Her little feet and hands were filled with water blisters which was scariest thing to see her in this situation.I asked doctor what is going on he said its called as edema as baby is not moving so water drained into her skin, Its fine until she could pass specific amount of urine which she is doing perfectly at this time.
20th to 24th April 2017
Days were very painful to see our little angel in this situation.my routine in those days was went to her and couldn't talk to her, just cried there and came back to waiting room.
25th April 2017
The day when our little angel said goodbye to us and left us with her memories behind. We could not see her again after that day but still i remember her eyes, her face, her little hand holded my finger, her sneezing voice when I hold her in my arms, her cry....every moment which we spent with her was a beautiful moment we cant forget in our whole life.
Hey Moms this is my baby's short life journey but she was our whole world and will be missed at every step of life. God is emperor on every side, he has great plans for us and hopefully this baby who is on way towards us will illuminate our heart again with same light. Hope is great weapon to overcome grief so we did not lose hope and took step forward towards another happiness in our life.
Moms this is life so now a days em enjoying another kicks and rolls in my womb :) Please remember me in your prayers and I will be forward to see your supportive comments.....see you soon with other update, Bye :)
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